Just Gotta Keep Running

I'm tired today. Real tired. I'm frustrated with the state of chaos that our house is in. My tolerance of my kids whining is zero to none. I feel overwhelmed with commitments, expectations, and obligations. I have a headache. I'm watching a friend walk through a divorce. I hate budgeting. I just want a vacation.

I got a message from a friend last night asking for a Bible verse or words of encouragement to share with one of her friends whose child was recently diagnosed with diabetes. The thought of what they have ahead of them made me tired. It made me genuinely sad for them because they have a long road ahead. So I shared these verses that are all that get me through some days:

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2

Some days, you just gotta run. No matter how weary or weighted down you are. 

Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me going is Jesus at the finish line. He's run the race before. He endured it and was victorious. I'm not running by myself since He is always beside me (Heb. 13:5) and I'm surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses. 

So today, I've just gotta keep running.

We Moms Are Pretty Great

We moms are pretty great. Here's why:

- For starters, we can endure childbirth.
- We can breastfeed a three-day-old while spanking a two-year-old.
- We can get lunches packed, clothes laid out, and breast pump equipment ready the night before.
- We can kiss a finger that's been rolled over by an electric four wheeler and magically heal it.
- We can cook dinner while Spiderman is clinging to our leg.
- We can fend off monsters in the closet.
- We can fold the same clothes four times after they've been jumped on and disheveled.
- We can teach them about Jesus and loving others.
- We can rock out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers "Snow (Hey Yo)" in the car with a two-year-old and not even care whose watching.
- We can make some mean play-dough.
- We can convince them to eat a new vegetable by bribing. Sometimes.
- We can love like there's no tomorrow.

Sometimes it's pretty rough being a mom. Pretty exhausting and overwhelming. Sometimes I miss my college days or married/two incomes/no kids life. But my two gems, they're pretty great. And that makes me feel pretty great.

Not a Quitter

I love writing and blogging. I have a kazillion ideas on what to blog about but life is just a little crazy with a 2 1/2 year old ALL BOY son and a 3 month old daughter...not to mention work, everyday life, and a super busy husband. Having said that, I'm making time to do it today.

I started CrossFit about 7 weeks ago. Three times a week for roughly an hour. I've missed several times because of the flu, kids being sick, and the holidays, but I've tried pretty hard to go. It's a beating. I mean, a real beating. Not only did I start at 7 weeks post partum, but I'm also out of shape. I was an athlete growing up and loved the Elliptical in college, did some walking/running/Zumba pre and post Grant, but CrossFit is in a league of it's own.

We do Olympic style weight lifting, all sort of body weight exercises, running, different weights...I think it's a military/law enforcement type regimen. Not gonna lie...I feel pretty Bad A when I'm done, even though I feel like I'm on the verge of death while doing it.

Here's a little bit about myself. If I'm not really good at something, I normally either don't do it. Or I quit. It's a bad trait of mine. This workout...I come in last a lot. Or second or third to last. I can't do all of the exercises in 100% proper form. I have to modify some. And I totally hate running. Like, with a passion.

But I'm not quitting.

Even though I don't look quite like a contestant, I feel like I'm on the Biggest Loser, struggling to finish at the back of the pack. And I don't like that feeling. Sometimes it drives me to push myself harder. Sometimes I want to quit and save face. But I'm not letting myself do that this time.

I'm putting myself out there. I feel vulnerable. I feel inadequate. I feel silly. I'm frustrated that it's so stinkin' hard for me. But I'm not quitting.

I want to feel victorious. I don't want to be at the back of the pack anymore. I'll get there one day. I know I will. But if I quit, I'll just have to start over, have the same physical pain and mental anguish. And I'm not going to do it.

This is a tough lesson for me. It's ok to not be the best. Or even good. Or even last. But man, I'm doing it. I'm putting myself out there and I'm going to conquer something that is really, really hard.

I don't know what you have out there to conquer. What you want to quit at because it's hard or you feel inadequate. But I'm telling you...DON'T. Like I'm going to beat CrossFit and my fears of sucking, you're going to beat your struggle, too. But if you quit, you'll never beat it and it will continue to be your struggle. A friend posted this on Facebook today and it rang really true to me.

"Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish, which trumps Did Not Start." - Anonymous