I'm kind of nervous today. Tomorrow, I'm doing something that's a little scary for me. I am competing in my first CrossFit Open competition. Once a week for five weeks, you complete a certain workout in front of a certified CrossFit trainer/judge...and numerous onlookers...receive a score that is published for everyone to see, in hopes of filling one of something like 48 spots in your region. And after some research, it looks like there are 17 regions...IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
So obviously, I have 0.0000000001% chance of qualifying. Maybe if 79/80ths of the world competitors get the stomach bug overnight. And it's me and the inspiring 80 year old grandma who entered. (But some of those 80 year olds are pretty impressive.) But qualifying is not the goal here. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure I'll be able to do all of the specified exercises in each workout. But I'm okay with that.
I know that "CrossFit" has become kind of a trend. It's a buzz word. And it's for good reason. Since starting the week before Christmas 2012, I have become stronger, faster, thinner, and healthier than I have been in a long, long time. Or maybe even ever. I'm having fun. I've met FANTASTIC new friends. I've been encouraged. I've encouraged. It's a beating, but it's a really fun, rewarding beating. And I can remind you of my original thoughts about starting this journey here. It wasn't pretty.
I'm participating in the Games for much more than a workout. I'm doing it...
- Because I want to push myself. I want to try harder at a physical task than I ever have.
- Because I want to overcome a fear of being a disappointment. The only person who thinks I am some form of a disappointment is ME.
- Because I want feedback from a coach. There's not a better way to get better at something than to have someone watch your performance with undivided attention than by entering a competition.
- Because I want to be an example. To my kids who will be watching. To my friends who are watching. To the "average" person who thinks they could never do something like that. Because if I can do it, they can do it.
- Because I want to be surprised at what I can accomplish. That's one of the best feelings in the world.
- Because I want to be a part of a big movement. People joke that CrossFit is a cult. It isn't...but I can see where they get that notion. You have your own lingo. You get each others struggles and triumphs. Why wouldn't you want to be a part of a big group like that?
- Because I want to remind my type 1 diabetes that it does not define who I am or what I can do.
- Because I can. YOLO...again, a buzz word. You Only Live Once. I've chosen to live life and not let opportunities pass by. I've watched too many people sit on the sidelines and never dig deep into life and what it has to offer. So, I may suck. Or I may do great. Either way, I am gaining a new life experience and the lessons that come with it. I don't want to look back at this point next year, lets say if I'm pregnant with our third, and wish I would have signed up and pushed myself.
- And drumroll for the biggest reason...because Jesus has taught me so many lessons in the last year through workouts. No, I'm seriously not kidding. He is not conventional. I've learned lessons about trusting Him, loving others, perseverance, and grace vs. perfection while laying on my back on a gym floor gasping for any form of oxygen I can get. I CANNOT WAIT to see what He teaches me over the next 5 weeks.
I'm not writing this because I want a pat on the back or for cool points. (Really, hold the cool points until I can complete a workout.) I think I'm writing this because I want to encourage you to do something that's kind of scary. Venture into uncharted territories that you know you're being called into. Push yourself. Don't put Jesus in a box and believe He only speaks to you in Bible study and church. He wants to speak to you in ways unbelievably specific to you. He knows that one of the best times to knock on my heart is when I'm feeling either defeated after a terrible workout or triumphant after a victory.
Live out loud. Know defeat and taste victory. It's part of the richness of our lives.
Seriously, I may have to wear a pad to do my double-unders tomorrow (all of you who have experienced childbearing totally know what I'm talking about) but dang it, I'm going to put myself out there and give it a shot. YOLO.
